HAPPY 1YEAR 3MONTHSARY !!

Okay, it seems to be long but it also seems to be short. Time is not a way to tell how strong your relationship is or how lovely both of you can be. No matter how long, if you guys have no bonding, it'll be just a friendship love.

We didn't go out for any celebrations or anything, we were too exhausted to do so. Perhaps Tomorrow going out to catch a movie? I'm too stress to have outdoor activities, I wish I could but I can't. I'm so frustrated recently, over studies. Long story, couldn't be bothered to write or to say or to tell.

How I wish everything will be extremely carefree without troubles,

How I wish no more stress over stuffs,

How I wish life is short but worthy spent,

How I wish money comes easy like a snap between fingers.

How I wish I'm a brilliant, with a smart brain.

How I wish my brain can work better than Einstein.

How I wish I'm a billionaire just like what Bill gates has. 

Which are all impossible, rubbishes. I don't think  I'll ever dream of it too, all illusions, maybe it'll happened in maniac's dreams?

I felt depressed, pissed off, embarrassed, frustrated, angry, sad, hate, disappointed. Dislike myself for not doing anything good, not a single one. I'm losing all my motivation over one simple question, to me, it was absurd.

My parents are understanding, they just want me to be a average child with a average brain. But I want to make them proud. My brothers can do it, why can't I? I just wanna be the best child among my brothers, not in bad but good ways. Life wasn't as easy as I thought it was.